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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person

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'Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me' by Anna Mehler Paperny is a memoir that delves into the author's personal struggle with depression and suicidal ideation. The book combines personal experiences with investigative research, offering a comprehensive look at mental health care in Canada and the US. Paperny's writing style is described as engaging, informative, and honest, providing readers with insights into the history of medical understanding of depression and various treatments available.

Writing/Prose:

The prose varies from flowery to engaging, blending personal storytelling with research, making it accessible yet at times complex.

Plot/Storyline:

The narrative follows the author's personal experiences with depression and explores diverse treatment methods, highlighting the broader challenges in understanding the condition.

Setting:

The setting encompasses both the author's personal journey and the medical landscape of mental health care in North America.

Pacing:

The pacing fluctuates, with a more engaging start that may taper off, causing some readers to lose interest in later sections.
And that’s everything between scarfing sleeping pills on a Sunday night to waking fuzzily in the ICU days later, Velcro ties strapping my wrists and forearms to cold metal railings ringing the bed, ke...

Notes:

The author conducted extensive research on depression, interviewing specialists.
The book combines personal struggle with investigative research on treatment options.
It discusses various treatments, including pharmacology and brain stimulations.
The author emphasizes the lack of understanding around depression and its effects.
Readers had mixed feelings about the writing style; some found it flowery, while others enjoyed it.
The second part of the book had some redundant information but was still informative.
The author is a journalist who shares her own experiences with depression and suicide.
The book aims to offer hope and understanding to those struggling with mental health issues.
It presents a powerful and relatable description of depression's impact.
Many find it a valuable resource for understanding treatment-resistant depression.

Sensitive Topics/Content Warnings

The book contains high triggers/content warnings for content related to depression, suicidal ideation, and mental health crises.

From The Publisher:

An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression.

Depression is a havoc-wreaking illness that masquerades as personal failing and hijacks your life. After a major suicide attempt in her early twenties, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved to put her reporter's skills to use to get to know her enemy, setting off on a journey to understand her condition, the dizzying array of medical treatments on offer, and a medical profession in search of answers. Charting the way depression wrecks so many lives, she maps competing schools of therapy, pharmacology, cutting-edge medicine, the pill-popping pitfalls of long-term treatment, the glaring unknowns and the institutional shortcomings that both patients and practitioners are up against. She interviews leading medical experts across the US and Canada, from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners, and others dabbling in strange hypotheses-and shares compassionate conversations with fellow sufferers.

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me tracks Anna's quest for knowledge and her desire to get well. Impeccably reported, it is a profoundly compelling story about the human spirit and the myriad ways we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

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Reader Stats (11):

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About the Author:

Anna Mehler Paperny is a Toronto-based reporter for Reuters. She's chased down stories ranging from the opioid crisis to migration, from post-quake Haiti to Guantanamo Bay. She has also been a staff reporter at The Globe and Mail and a reporter-editor for Global News, where she developed globalnews.ca's award-winning Investigative Data Desk. Her work on Canadian prison deaths won the RTDNA Dan McArthur Award for investigative journalism.

 
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